


White Lies

by SisterDuffin



Category: Casualty (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 18:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 12,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19431553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterDuffin/pseuds/SisterDuffin
Summary: (Slightly AU) It was a small white lie that Duffy told Andrew to protect his feelings, she just never expected 20 years later to still be living the lie. When Lottie’s injured in an attack, Duffy realises she must come clean but at what cost? [Will continue a rape storyline approximately half-way through, relevant chapters will be tagged.]





	1. Chapter 1

There’s barely a gap between them, her back pressed against the door. He’s drunk, she can smell the whiskey and it just turns her on even more. Their eyes meet, she bites her lower lip hard.

“Charlie,” she whispers. Not tonight, please God not tonight.

His hand moves from her cheek. How does he not notice how fast and loud her heart is beating? He runs his thumb over her lower lip. He doesn’t even feel guilty. He’s supposed to be getting married tomorrow but that’s the last thing on his mind. She closes her eyes and swallows hard.

“Charlie, please—” She begs. Not tonight. He’s getting married in the morning. Any other time, she’d happily be the other woman but not the night before his wedding. That makes her… well, more of a bitch than she already was right? She gasps softly, her breath catching in her throat when he presses his lips to hers. She doesn’t respond, not at first. She’s fighting the battle. The sensible side is telling her to move, to turn around and go home. The other side wants her to stay. 

She deepens the kiss as she pushes him away forcefully, but it doesn’t work. Charlie doesn’t budge. Instead he begins to undo the buttons on her blouse. She still tries to resist but Charlie’s like a drug to her, a drug she can’t live without. It isn’t long before their clothes are thrown around the room, leading to the bed in the middle of the room.

They have sex twice that night.

The following morning, she watches as he marries Baz. The events of the previous night playing heavily on her mind. A one-night stand with her best friend, that’s all it was ever going to be. He was married as was she. She also had the boys to consider. She wasn’t about to hurt the boys and Andrew for something that wasn’t ever going to go further than a drunken fling.

She finds it difficult to forget about him. Every time she sleeps with Andrew (which isn’t _that_ often) she finds herself comparing him to Charlie. Charlie was much more considerate between the sheets, made sure she was pleasured in every way. Andrew wasn’t that considerate. As long as he came, it didn’t matter if she did or didn’t.

It’s five weeks later that she realises she’s missed her period. As regular as clockwise since the age of fourteen and two children already, she _knew_ she was pregnant without even having to do a test. Sitting in the bathroom when Andrew was at work, the children at school, staring at the pregnancy test that told her she was pregnant, she _knew_ the baby was Charlie’s.

But Charlie was happy with Baz.

And she was supposedly happy with Andrew, right?

She considers a termination behind Andrew’s back, but she can’t bring herself to do it. So, she keeps the baby knowing full well it isn’t Andrew’s. A small, tiny white lie so she didn’t break up her own marriage or Charlie’s. She told herself one day, she’d tell the truth. 

She just never expected twenty years later, she’d still be living the lie. 


	2. Present Day

New Zealand was never home, not really. It wasn’t England nor was it Charlie. It wasn’t her safe place. Lottie and the boys had grown up, her marriage to Ryan was just about _surviving_. That’s why she came back to England, to be needed and wanted again. She split her time between New Zealand and England, spending six months in each place until Lottie decided at eighteen, that she wanted to live in England permanently. So that’s what had happened. Duffy and Lottie returned to England where Lottie began to train as a nurse.

Lottie stood in front of the mirror in the master bedroom, smoothing down her uniform. Today was her first day in her first clinical placement as a student nurse. As a child she always knew what she wanted to be. Nursing was in the blood, her blood. As she tied her blonde hair into a tight ponytail, she caught sight of the letter on the set of drawers and smiled, knowing who it was from.

Stepping towards the letter, she unfolded it and read the note. It was from her mum, wishing her a good first day in placement. She smiled brightly and put the note back. Lottie’s heart was beating fast, she felt slightly sick through nerves. It was one thing being in University and getting good grades in assignments, it was another trying to impress her mentor and making people see that she could be a good nurse.

Checking her reflection once more in the mirror, satisfied that she looked presentable, Lottie picked up her keys, her phone and her handbag and closed the bedroom door too. It was odd, living in this house alone whilst her mum had temporarily returned to New Zealand. She’d declined to return because New Zealand wasn’t her favourite place anymore. Yes, she missed Peter and Jake, but she didn’t miss Ryan. She thought Ryan was a right prick, especially when he had the balls to cheat on her mum. Heading downstairs, Lottie put on her jacket and left home.

Her first placement was at St James Hospital on the other side of Holby. It was about forty minutes away on the 28 bus and she decided that today she was going to get there early. Just so she knew where everything was and to calm down a little, to keep her nerves from going overboard. She could do this. She was born to be a nurse.

At 6:30am, she ended up on the bus, with her headphones heading to the hospital. Her stomach was still flipping uncomfortably, and Lottie thought any minute now, her breakfast would make an appearance. Biting her lower lip hard, she was about to change the song when she ended up getting a phone call from her mother. She smiled brightly as she accepted the call.

“Hi mum.”

Duffy yawned slightly, it had been a busy day but hearing her daughter’s voice, she smiled brightly.

_“Morning sweetheart, how are you?”_

“I’m…” She paused. Did she want to reveal to her mum that she was so incredibly nervous she’d barely been sleeping? “I’m good. How are you?”

Duffy sighed silently on the other end of the phone. She could hear it in her daughter’s voice that she was nervous and on edge and no amount of encouragement, would change that. Lottie was a very bright, beautiful young woman who lacked confidence in her abilities. Duffy believed in her only daughter. She _would_ ace this placement.

 _“Lottie?”_ There was a pause on her mum’s side, _“are you sure you’re okay?”_

“I’ve not been sleeping,” She admitted. She would always talk to her mum eventually, no matter how much she tried not to. That was how close Lottie and Duffy were, that even Duffy being temporarily on the other side of the world wouldn’t affect their close bond.

_“Why?”_

Why? Lottie began to think hard. It was a mixture of living alone (that never helped her anxiety), her mum being in New Zealand and worrying about starting her first clinical placement. Her first placement was the most exciting yet terrifying day of her life. She didn’t speak for a while, too busy collecting her thoughts when her mum broke the ongoing silence.

 _“Lottie, remember what I said…”_ She closed her eyes, mainly to stop the tears that threatened to fall as her mum began to tell her exactly why she should believe in herself more. Her mum told her all the things she needed to hear before their phone call came to an end with a long goodbye. It wouldn’t be long before she could receive a huge hug from her mum. Only another 7 weeks to go.


	3. Chapter 3

By the end of her first clinical placement, Lottie’s confidence had soared. Not only had she passed all her competencies, but she’d been encouraged to attend a further training session on dementia. Having worked in a dementia setting for six weeks, Lottie was inspired to do research to make more of a difference to the lives of those effected by a dementia diagnosis. Something that wasn’t limited to just the patient but their families too.

She sat on the desk in Charlie’s office, swinging her legs as she read the BNF book that she’d discovered on his desk. She’d been so absorbed in reading, she hadn’t even realised she was no longer alone in the office.

“Excuse me, should you be in here?” Hearing a young female’s voice, she stopped reading the drug and paragraph she was on and slowly looked up. Her eyes fell upon a larger girl, not much older than she was and Lottie smiled warmly.

“I’m just waiting for Charlie. He said he wouldn’t be long.”

A small frown appeared on Robyn’s face to which Lottie noticed and continued, “I’m Lottie, I’m Charlie’s goddaughter.”

Robyn nodded, still not sure if the girl should be in Charlie’s office or not. Then again, she didn’t make the rules, did she? Robyn smiled back at the younger girl and asked, “do you mind doing me a favour? If you see Charlie before I do, will you tell him, I’m looking for him? Thanks.”

Before Lottie could even ask what, her name was, Robyn had disappeared, and Lottie returned her attention to the book. She’d been sat in here for ages, Charlie’s words of ‘I won’t be long’ a distant memory. The higher up the food chain you were, the less peace and more responsibilities you got. Running her tongue over her lower lip, (according to her mum, it was a habit she’d _alway_ s done) as she turned the page, her thoughts were broken by Charlie’s voice.

“Sorry Lottie, it was a bit hectic out there.”

Marking the page by folding the corner, Lottie closed the book. She smiled and removed herself from the desk.

“It’s fine, it’s the ED. I don’t expect anything less.”

Returning the book to the exact spot she found it, she looked around at the mess and replied; “mum always said you weren’t the most organised.”

“Did she now?”

Lottie laughed and nodded, “how do you find anything in here?”

Charlie shrugged, “I just know where everything is.”

She shook her head fondly and wondered how Charlie and her mum became best friends when they were opposites in just about everything. Charlie watched her as she was momentarily lost in thought before asking, “Ready?”

Looking up she nodded, “yes.”

It was only when they left the department and reached the car that Lottie remembered the message. “Did someone find you? A girl, large, quite pretty.”

“Robyn? Yes, she found me.”

She nodded in response as they got in the car, “I don’t know her name, she never told me.”

Like most of the journeys home, there wasn’t much exchanged between the two of them. For Charlie, it was nice to have some company. He wasn’t used to spending time with people, especially not since Louis’ drug addiction. Having spent time with Lottie, he realised just how lonely he was.

“Thanks for the lift home.” Lottie called as she reached over to kiss Charlie’s cheek. He smiled. It wasn’t a problem, he was just glad he could ensure Lottie remained safe. She was Duffy’s only daughter.

“I’ll see you soon?”

“You certainly will Uncle Charlie!” She closed the car door and headed up the steps to the front door. Charlie never drove away until she was inside the house, mainly because he couldn’t live with himself in anything happened to her on the doorstep. Closing the door behind her, Lottie lent against the door and sighed heavily. She hated coming home to a silent house.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting on the sofa, with her legs crossed, laptop balanced on her knees surrounded by text books; Lottie was lost in thought over the upcoming assignment deadline. A&P, in other words, Anatomy & Physiology and She detested the subject. Never mind trying to concentrate enough to write her latest assignment. Running a hand through her long blonde hair, Lottie exhaled heavily and moved the laptop to the coffee table, deciding to take a break. Getting up off the settee, she grabbed her packet of cigarettes, her lighter and her phone before heading outside into the garden. Thankful that the rain had held off, Lottie sat on the floor underneath the kitchen window, lit up her cigarette and inhaled the toxins. Unlocking her phone, she found herself scrolling through her social media accounts. She was about to like a status from a University friend when her mum’s name flashed upon the screen and she smiled brightly, answering the call.

“Hi mum!”

“ _Hello sweetheart, is everything okay?_ ” Lottie nodded and spoke to her mum. A conversation and a catch up that lasted for an hour until they both realised how long they’d been on the phone together. Once Lottie got talking, you could rarely get her to stop to be honest. Still, Duffy loved nothing more than the sound of her daughter’s voice, listening to the stories she so longed to be part of. It wouldn’t be long now until she was back with her daughter, where she belonged.

Following her phone call to her mother, Lottie felt a little down. That was quite often the case whenever words were exchanged between the two. Lottie missed her mum terribly and she couldn’t help but think why she hadn’t gone back to New Zealand when Duffy had asked. Still; it was done now. Saving her work and shutting down her laptop, Lottie was about to head upstairs to run a bath when there was a knock on the door. She stopped on the bottom step, her back to the front door, debating whether to answer it or not. There was another soft knock at the door and Lottie approached the door and unlocked it, peeping out to see who was there. Opening the door wider when she realised it wasn’t a mass murderer on her doorstep and only Charlie, she asked;

“what did I do to deserve a visit?”

Charlie laughed. Sometimes being around Lottie reminded him of being around Duffy all those years ago. She had the same sarcasm and sense of humour as her mother, as well as her looks.

“I came to see how you are?”

Lottie invited him in and closed the door behind him. “Aren’t you sweet?” She teased lightly, “I’m ok.”

He nodded and took off his coat, hanging it up on the spare peg before following Lottie into the kitchen. He didn’t know why but the atmosphere felt slightly different than it had been previously.

With a small frown, he asked; “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Lottie switched on the kettle without even having to ask and lent against the counter. She fiddled with her hands nervously, a silence descending onto the room. With a swallow, Lottie shrugged and answered back;

“I… I don’t know, Uncle Charlie.”

Charlie sighed sadly and stepped towards her. “What’s wrong?”

A small chuckle escaped Lottie’s lips, “What’s right?” She sighed heavily and shrugged for a second time, “I miss mum. It’s getting harder.”

“How long until your mum comes home?”

“A few weeks.” Lottie admitted, “four weeks but— well, I can’t help but think those ten days won’t come.”

Charlie planted a small kiss to Lottie’s forehead. “That’s not long. It’ll be here before you know it.” He reassured before he asked. “Are you working on the 29th?”

Lottie shook her head, briefly glancing at the calendar that hung near the kettle. The space beside the 29th was - at that moment, free.

“No, I’m not, why?”

“I have a wedding reception to attend and I wondered, if you’d like to join me?”

Lottie laughed as she took two mugs out of the cupboard and placed them beside the kettle, “Aren’t I a little too young to be your plus one?”

Charlie laughed gently. “I’d ask your mum, but she’s otherwise engaged.”

Lottie frowned slightly but didn’t say anything. Did that mean he liked her mum? Like, in a romantic kind of way?

“Consider yourself a date, Uncle Charlie.”


	5. Chapter 5

Lottie sat in the bedroom by the dressing table. She was running a hairbrush through her long blonde hair. She glanced at the clock and sighed, applied her makeup and looked over at the dress in the corner. She moved, stepping towards the red dress that hung on the wardrobe. She put on the dress and soothed out the creases. The red dress was perfect. A flared, halter neck that showed the flesh between her breasts/cleavage. She was about to grab her perfume when she heard the doorbell ring and rolled her eyes softly. She’d already told Charlie that she would text him when she was ready to be picked up. Getting downstairs, she grabbed the keys from the side and unlocked the door.

She almost squealed in surprise when it wasn’t Charlie on the doorstep but her mum.

“Mum?!”

Duffy smiled at her only daughter, she really was a spitting image of her. She rose an eyebrow seeing the dress she was wearing, “going out?”

Her cheeks flushed a small tinge of red. “Uncle Charlie asked me to be his plus one for a wedding reception.”

Duffy nodded as Lottie stepped aside and let Duffy into the house. She closed the door, “I wasn’t expecting you back?”

“It was a surprise.”

She laughed gently and hugged her tightly. Lottie closed her eyes tightly, taking in the familiar scent of her mum. She’d missed her mum terribly, more than she realised or thought was possible. She wouldn’t let go off her mum, almost afraid that if she was to let go, her mum would disappear.

“How’s my baby girl?” Duffy asked as she tucked a strand of hair behind Lottie’s ear. Lottie’s cheeks turned a small shade of red in embarrassment and she nodded,

“I’m okay. Tired because of placement and things but I’m okay. How are you?”

“Better now I’m back.” She planted a kiss to her forehead. “I was going to suggest a takeaway and a movie, but you’ve already got plans.”

“I could always ask Charlie to come round?”

Duffy shook her head, declining the offer. She smiled at her mum before she told her she was going to go upstairs and change. Duffy tried to talk her out of it but as she went upstairs, she sent Charlie a text message.

TEXT TO CHARLIE - Mum’s home? Can we have a night in? Xx

Charlie stared at his reflection as he tried to sort out his tie. It was the wedding reception of an old school friend and he had missed the actual wedding because of work. Hearing the vibration of his phone against the dresser, he stepped towards it and smiled when he saw Lottie’s name flash up on the screen. Although Lottie was his goddaughter, she was like the daughter he’d never had. Reading her text message about her mum, being back, his heart skipped a beat. Glancing at his reflection once more, he smiled and answered;

TEXT TO LOTTIE - Night in Sounds perfect! Be there in 10 x

Charlie began to remove his tie before changing into something more comfortable and heading to Duffy’s. Lottie had done the same. She’d changed into her batman pyjamas and was curled up with Duffy on the sofa.

“How’s Jake and Peter? And Ryan?”

Duffy smiled at the mention of her two oldest children. “They’re all good thanks. Ryan’s been on another business adventure as usual.”

Lottie smiled sadly. Ryan had always been dad to Lottie, Andrew had died when Lottie was two, so she barely remembered what he was like. Lately though, Lottie didn’t have much respect for Ryan. She hadn’t liked him since she’d overheard an argument between her mum and Ryan which revealed that Ryan had cheated. She’d lost all respect from him after that.

“Can I ask you something?”

Duffy was stroking her daughter’s hair, the pair of them cuddled on the sofa. She looked down at her daughter and replied, “Yes, you know you can ask me anything.”

There was a comfortable silence between the two before Lottie asked, “have you and Uncle Charlie ever been more than friends?”

Duffy was taken aback slightly by her daughter’s question and wondered what had brought it on. It was a tricky question to answer. Over the years there had been many innocent kisses that weren’t so innocent after all.

Just as she was about to reply, there was a knock on the door. Kissing Lottie’s head again, Duffy moved from the sofa to the door. Opening the front door, she smiled when she saw her oldest friend on the doorstep, a bunch of flowers in his hand.

“Hi, these are for you.” He smiled as he gave her the flowers. His hand brushed against hers as she accepted the flowers.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.”

There was a silence. Although they were best friends, there was no denying the sexual chemistry that was apparent between them.

“You look well.” Charlie stated as Duffy invited him into the house, “how was New Zealand?”

With the flowers in her hand, Duffy closed the door and planted a kiss to Charlie’s cheek. Her own cheeks a small shade of red after his compliment.

“New Zealand was good thanks. The boys and Ryan are all well. How are you?”

He smiled although the name Ryan always made him seethe inside. From the moment he ever met him, Charlie knew Ryan was a slimy bastard, but he made Duffy happy, so he let her leave for NZ. Bearing in mind, it was the biggest ever mistake of his life.

“I’m good thanks.” He replied as he entered the living room, Duffy heading into the kitchen to find a spare vase for the flowers. All three of them had a lovely evening together. They talked, laughed, watched a rubbish movie until Lottie fell asleep; Lottie’s head on Duffy’s chest and Charlie was watching them both.

Looking up from watching her daughter for a while, her eyes fell on Charlie’s. Noticing he’d been watching her, she blushed before she whispered; “it’s rude to stare.”

“Even if the person is as beautiful as you?” Charlie answered. They had shared three bottles of wine between the three of them and Charlie and Duffy had both got tipsy. More than they intended to be. Duffy’s cheeks shone scarlet again as she gently shook her head

She looked back down at Lottie before back at Charlie. She edged closer to him before their lips met. For a moment neither of them reacted until Duffy returned the kiss. It was only a short while later, as they pulled away from each other, that they knew the dynamics of their relationship was always going to be different from now on.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rape storyline begins from now. Non-graphic.

Lottie stood at the bus stop, sighed and tightened her jacket tightly around her. She looked at her phone for the time, 22:13 and then looked back at the timetable on the bus stop. She’d been stood out here for half an hour and the bus was already twenty minutes late. She bit her lower lip hard as she contemplated walking to the next bus stop, only about ten minutes away where there was more of a regular bus service. Plus, it wasn’t _that_ late, so she naively thought she was safe. As she walked away from the bus stop and into the darkness, she wasn’t aware of someone following her.

Robyn frowned as she walked past the alleyway to hear crying. She hesitated briefly before removing her phone and shining the light in the direction of the crying.

“Hello?”

The crying stopped suddenly and there was a slight movement from one side of the bins. Robyn hesitated again before she stepped in that direction.

“Are you okay?”

The young girl continued to hold her knees, refusing to look up at the stranger who’d stopped. 

“Are you hurt?” She slowly looked up. The top of the young girls’ arms was badly bruised, she had a split lip and her top was torn. Robyn’s heart sank at the state of the girl. “You’re going to be okay.” She went to type out the emergency services number when the girl shook her head.

“No please, please don’t call anyone.”

Robyn sighed but rang the ambulance, the girl needed to be checked over. As she waited for the ambulance, she crouched in front of her. “What’s your name?”

She didn’t answer. She tried to stand up, the blood trickling down her leg. She looked down and closed her eyes tightly. “Need to go home.”

“You need to go to the hospital.”

She shook her head. If she went to the hospital, her mum would know, and she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t break their hearts. She turned to throw up in the corner, her body beginning to shake as she began to cry.

Robyn gently rubbed her back, “Ssh, it’s ok.”

The journey to the hospital was quiet, too quiet. Sam and Robyn watched her carefully as she wrapped herself in the blanket, once again refusing to talk. She couldn’t reveal her name. Once she got to the hospital, she hoped she could hide. Hide so nobody knew who she was and then nobody could inform her parents.

She sat on the bed, knees to her chest, staring at the curtain that was drawn round the cubicle. Her stomach was hurting along with every inch of her body. He’d really done a number on her. Her top was slightly torn, the material had come apart in the struggle. Elle stepped towards her, “can you tell me your name?”

Silence. Lottie’s clutching her handbag tightly. If she lets go, they’ll know who she is, and she can’t risk her mother knowing. She can lie to them, say she got into a fight. Yes, that’s what she’ll do.

Elle’s voice breaks through her thoughts as she asks; “are you in any pain?”

She was. Both physically and mentally. Down there hurt, never mind her joints felt like someone was burning her repeatedly. She hesitated slightly before she shook her head.

“No?”

She shook her head and Elle sighed sadly. It was clear that whatever had happened to the young woman, it had caused her a great deal of emotional distress.

“Is there anyone I can call for you?” Once again, she shakes her head and begins playing with the necklace - a letter L with a butterfly - twisting the metal between her fingers. Elle sighs softly. She knows she needs to do something. /Something/ happened, even if she didn’t know what. There’s a comfortable silence, as comfortable as it can be when one is terrified before Elle replies; “you’re safe here, nobody is going to hurt you.”

“When can I go home?”

“Shortly, you can go home shortly.”

Being alone in the cubicle is torture. She feels the vibration of her mobile phone in her handbag and she takes out the phone, her mum’s name flashing up on the screen. She sends a quick text, something to do with the shift not finishing and how she’d be home late. She was relieved when her mum accepted her explanation. After all, it wasn’t that late was it? Only gone nine.

She attempted to get out of bed, to find a sick bowl because she had a feeling she was going to be sick when she dropped her handbag. It landed on its side, all the contents spilling out, just as Louise entered the cubicle to attempt to get her to talk. She crouched down to help when they both reached for Lottie’s student ID card. Louise picked it up and looked at the photograph and back up at Lottie.

“Lottie Duffin, is that your name?”

Lottie sighed and held out her hand, wanting the ID card to be returned. Louise sighed and handed the card back to her, helped her repack her bag and left the cubicle. Duffin. Where had she seen that name before? She had seen it before, hadn’t she?


	7. Chapter 7

He stood at the board, reading and re-reading the name that was written on the space by cubicle thirteen. Lottie Duffin. Lottie couldn’t be here. He’d know, wouldn’t he?

“You look puzzled?” He turned, a small frown still upon his features as his eyes met with Jacob’s. He forced a smile before he asked, “have you seen Elle?”

Jacob was about to answer when Charlie saw her coming into cubicles. “Elle?” He called trying to obtain her attention. She looked up from the notes she was reading and smiled, “yes Charlie?”

He nodded towards the board, “cubicle thirteen, Lottie Duffin? Is she blonde, mid-twenties, blue eyes?”

Now it was Elle’s turn to frown. “Yes, why?”

“She’s my goddaughter! What’s happened? How is she?”

Elle explained everything. Where she was found, what state she was currently in and how she wouldn’t talk or allow anyone to examine her. Charlie closed his eyes, that sick feeling in his stomach. He nodded and asked if he could see her. Nervously, he stepped towards the cubicle and gently pulled back the curtain.

“Lottie?”

It was reminding him of all those years ago - over thirty, when he’d stepped into the cubicle when Duffy had been attacked. How he felt awful for not being able to protect her. Sick at some bastard getting kicks out of raping vulnerable women. Lottie shifted uncomfortable and slowly brought her head up from her knees.

“Uncle Charlie?” She whispered as he stepped closer to the bed. Charlie knew he had to call Duffy, she’d want to be here with her only daughter. He sat on the edge of the bed, keeping a bit of distance between them but facing her.

“What happened sweetheart?”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. (She’d walked past that alley loads of times and nothing had happened. Except today was different. His hand immediately went to her mouth and she froze. She froze as he pulled her into the alley and threw her against the wall.)

“Nothing Uncle Charlie, I’m— okay.” He smiled sadly. She was an awful liar, something she’d inherited from Duffy (she couldn’t lie convincingly either)

“Please Lottie, tell me.”

She squeezed her eyes tightly closed and shook her head frantically. She won’t say what happened. If she does, it makes it real. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She just wants to forget it happened.

“Do you want me to call your mum?”

“No!” She shakes her head frantically again, “no! No! Please!”

Charlie, for this moment in time agrees not to contact Duffy. She falls asleep an hour later, on her right-hand side, still clutching her handbag but sucking her thumb slightly. Charlie stayed with her until he knew she was in a deeper sleep and left, heading to his office and sitting at his desk. His mobile phone was sat in front of him, Duffy’s number on the screen, debating whether he should contact her or not. He knew Lottie was an adult and could make her own decisions, but he also knew she needed support, support only Duffy could give as a mother. With a heavy sigh, Charlie pressed the call button and held the phone to his ear, hoping for an answer.


	8. Chapter 8

Duffy was dozing when she heard the vibrations of her phone. She sat up and reached over to pick up her phone from the coffee table, a smile immediately on her face when she saw it was Charlie.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he answered back and then paused. He felt conflicted. Lottie had begged him not to tell Duffy and as she was eighteen, she had that choice. However, he knew Duffy needed to know.

 _“_ Are you okay? _”_ He asked, and Duffy frowned. Had he just rung her to ask if she was okay?

“I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

There was another pause on the phone as Charlie thought about his next words. The silence over the phone wasn’t helping the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. 

“Charlie? Is Lottie okay?”

She didn’t know what made her ask about Lottie, she just needed to know she was okay. Come to think of it, it was late, and Lottie was usually home by now. The lack of response from Charlie, did nothing to reassure Duffy that her daughter was safe.

“Charlie what aren’t you telling me!”

“Lottie’s been brought in the ED, she’s okay. I promise.”

Duffy’s eyes widened before she grabbed her keys and her phone. Despite Charlie’s protests that he’d call when he knew more, he knew it would be pointless. Ten minutes later, she arrived at the Emergency Department. She scanned reception trying to find Charlie and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Charlie. He approached her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders, his touch bringing her back to reality and calming her. She met his gaze, her eyes filled with tears slightly red from where she’d cried on the way here. Instinctively, he placed his hand against her cheek.

“She’s okay,” he told her.

“Promise?” She moved her head closer to his hand, not bothered who was around and who might see. There was a silence before he nodded and removed his hand.

“She’s asleep,” he replied as he took her through to Lottie’s cubicle. Lottie was curled up in a ball, her left hand clutching the blanket tightly, a bruise on the inside of her wrist. As Duffy stepped towards her, a tear rolled down her cheek and she sat on the edge of the bed. She ran her hand through Lottie’s hair, just as Lottie began to stir.

“Hmm?”

“Sssh, go back to sleep.”

Lottie opened her eyes, her gaze falling upon her mum. She immediately let go off the blanket and instead gripped the top of her mum’s blouse as Duffy moved closer to Lottie.

“I’m sorry.”

Duffy shook her head, “you’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

“I have, I was an easy target.”

“None of this is your fault sweetheart, none of this.” Lottie closed her eyes as she began to sob, her body shaking through the intensity of the tears. Duffy wrapped his arms around her daughter, holding her tightly, her own cheeks becoming wet with her own tears. Charlie feeling like he should leave mother and daughter alone, turned around to leave.

“Stay.”

He turned around, his eyes meeting with Duffy. “Stay,” she repeated.

He nodded, closed the curtain around them and sat down on the edge of the bed, on the other side of Lottie. He held his hand out for Lottie and she hesitated before placing her hand into his. He squeezed her hand reassuring, she was going to be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

Charlie groaned when he woke up, the back of his neck hurting. Duffy was asleep in his arms, Lottie asleep in her mum’s. Lottie was whimpering in her sleep, obviously dreaming.

“No, no, please!”

Duffy feeling the sudden movement from Lottie, woke suddenly. Realising she was having a nightmare, Duffy placed her hand on Lottie’s shoulder and gently shook her awake.

“Sweetheart, honey, you’re dreaming.”

Lottie woke, sitting bolt up-right in the bed, dripping in cold sweat, her breathing heavy.

“Need, the bathroom.” Lottie moved quickly out of bed but didn’t get very far when she collapsed on the floor. Duffy moved out of bed and crouched down in front of her daughter. Gently touching her chin, she lifted her head up. “What happened to you?”

Lottie shook her head and dipped her head again.

“Please sweetheart,” Lottie’s breathing – that had begun to settle, increased again, her hands began to shake, and her mouth became dry. With Duffy’s gentle encouragement, Lottie finally blurted out what happened down that alley. (Although everyone knew, they guessed due to her injuries!)

“He—r raped me.”

She sobbed, and Duffy closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her and held her tightly. She felt sick, her own eyes filling with tears. Not her little girl. As she opened her eyes, she caught Charlie’s eye and it saddened him to see how lost her eyes were. He crouched down beside Lottie and hugged her tightly, “I promise this is going to be okay, I’ll make this okay.”

When they got home a couple of hours later, Lottie locked herself in her bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bath as she waited for the tub to fill with water. Why her? Why did he have to pick her? She moved to the toilet at the right time as she threw up the contents of her stomach. She spent ages in the bathroom, submerged in the water and scrubbing her skin. She needed to forget him, forgot how he smelt, how his touch was. She traced her fingertips over the bruises on the inside of her thigh.

Why didn’t she fight harder? Why did she walk alone in the dark? Why didn’t she wait for the bloody bus? She scrubbed at her skin again with the flannel. She was angry, angry at herself, angry at him for choosing her to be his next victim. What gave him that right? What gave him the right to hurt her? She threw the shampoo bottle out of the bath, followed by the bottle of body wash feeling a lot calmer when she’d thrown them.

She was not going to let this destroy her.

She was _not_ a victim!

Getting out of the bath, she changed into her pyjamas and stood at the top of the stairs, towel-drying her hair. She called her mum from the top of the stairs.

“Mum?”

Duffy stood from the kitchen table and left her mug of tea. She reached the bottom of the stairs, “Yes?”

Lottie smiled warmly, “Please will you braid my hair?”

Duffy rolled her eyes softly and nodded, agreeing to her daughter’s request. Lottie came down the stairs and stopped at the bottom in front of her mum. She kissed her cheek.

“Thank you.”

Duffy smiled. She studied her daughter carefully, there was something slightly different about the teen, but she couldn’t quite work out what it was. Noticing the look her mum was giving her, Lottie asked; “What?”

“Nothing,” Duffy answered and paused, “are you okay?”

Lottie nodded, “of course.” 

Lottie sat on the floor in the living room between her mum’s legs. They were in front of the fire and the television, Duffy braiding Lottie’s hair, a comfortable silence between the two.

“Lottiepop?”

“Hmm?”

Duffy finished putting a bobble into Lottie’s hair, “have you thought about what you’re going to do?”

Lottie sighed, “you want me to go to the police, don’t you?”

Duffy didn’t answer for a minute unsure what to say. She didn’t want Lottie to regret not going to the police if she wanted to in the future. Although Duffy never reported her own attack, it was something that she found herself regretting over the years.

“I want you to do what’s right for you.” She told her.

Lottie chewed her lower lip before she answered; “I don’t want to go to the police, I want to forget it ever happened.”

Now it was Duffy’s turn to sigh. She knew from experience that you couldn’t ever forget it happened. It was always something that was going to be there, you just had to be strong enough to fight it. Her daughter was tough but even she knew the toughest people broke occasionally, she was living proof of that.

“I’ll support your decision Lottie, you know, that don’t you?”

She nodded, she knew her mum had her back, her mum always did.


	10. Chapter 10

It had been a fortnight since Lottie’s attack and she seemed to be coping okay. She couldn’t sleep for any more than two hours at a time, but she’d been prescribed Zopiclone to help with the insomnia. She’d gone back to placement a couple of days after the attack and on the surface, appeared to be doing just fine. Duffy on the other hand, seemed to be a little quieter and more withdrawn than usual. Something Charlie had noticed and wondered if she was struggling to deal with the feelings of her own attack.

She was sat on the sofa in the staff room, staring into a mug of tea in her hands. Charlie slowly approached her and sat down beside her.

“Hi.”

She didn’t look up or acknowledge, he was there so Charlie very gently placed his hand against her arm. Feeling his touch, Duffy looked up and smiled sadly.

“Hi.”

“What’s wrong?”

She shook her head, the less said the better.

“Duffy?” Charlie sighed as he sipped his tea and waited for a response. He could read her like a book, one of the perks of being best friends for so long. She wasn’t a very convincing liar. At least not to him. She sighed heavily and took a sip of tea, pulling a face when she realised the liquid had gone cold.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

Now it was his turn to sigh, “Is Lottie okay?”

“Yes, she’s okay.” She answered quickly before Charlie asked if she was worried about her.

“Of course, I’m worried, she is my daughter!” There was another sigh from Charlie and Duffy instantly felt guilty for snapping. She knew it wasn’t Charlie’s fault. She was just tired with too many thoughts whirling around her head. Duffy bit her lower lip.

“I’m sorry for snapping, I’m just tired.”

“Are you not sleeping?” Duffy hesitated before she answered, “Not really.”

There was a comfortable silence between the two of them, Duffy fiddled with the mug in her hands.

“Charlie, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“Go on,” he encouraged gently. Duffy took a deep breath and was about to say something that would blow their whole world apart when Louise entered the staff room.

“Sorry to interrupt but you’re both needed in Resus.”

Slightly relieved that their moment was interrupted, she stood up. “It’s not important, it can wait. See you out there?” She didn’t want for a response as she placed the mug in the sink and disappeared. Maybe it was best kept a secret. After all, it would only ruin things wouldn’t it?

Duffy was in her own world as she closed the locker, having got changed at the end of her shift. It had been a tough day, both mentally and physically draining and she couldn’t wait to go home. Putting on her jacket, she picked up her bag and turned to leave, colliding with Charlie as he entered the staff room.

“Sorry,” she said quietly as she bent down to pick up her bag that had fallen off her shoulder.

“Do you fancy a drink?”

She smiled, a drink sounded tempting. She was about to go home and have a glass of wine anyway but at least now she’d have company. She nodded, just as Charlie clarified.

“So we can talk?”

She wanted nothing more than to roll her eyes. Talk, why did everyone want to talk? There was nothing to talk about. She was fine, she was just tired, she had all this under control. Charlie didn’t need to know, it wouldn’t do any good if he did, would it?

He brought her a white wine at the pub, (he’d taken her to a small pub by the river) and they found a spare table in the corner, so they were able to talk. Duffy ran her finger along the rim of her glass, the nails of her hand tapping against the glass.

“You’ll talk to me eventually, Duffy.”

She looked up to meet his eye as he swirled the liquid around the glass before proceeding to knock it back. She sighed. That was a true statement to make. She would always talk to him eventually. However, she couldn’t tell him about this, he’d hate her. She took a large mouthful of wine and placed the glass back on the table before answering:

“You’ll hate me Charlie.”

He shook his head with a small smile. He never could hate her. He placed his hand over hers that was on the table, “I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

It was a lie, he knew that. She took a deep breath, another large mouthful of wine and braced herself for his reaction. She knew he was going to react badly to this.

“It’s Lottie…” she caught his gaze over the table. It was now or never, “Lottie’s your daughter.”

“I know.”

Duffy frowned, “what?”

He squeezed her hand tightly, “I know Lottie’s my daughter.”


	11. Chapter 11

After what felt like an eternity, Duffy asked; “if you knew, why didn’t you say anything?”

Charlie removed his hand from Duffy’s and took hold of his empty whiskey glass, “it wouldn’t have done either of us any good if other people had found out the truth.”

She knew he was referring to Andrew and Baz. If those two had ever discovered the truth, their lives would’ve been made hell. But they were dead, so why hadn’t he still not mentioned anything?

“How did you know?”

“I’ll be back in five,” he told her as he stood from the table. He couldn’t do this without a drink. He returned five minutes later with another glass of whiskey and another white wine for her. He sat down at the table and sipped the whiskey.

“Do you think I’ll ever forget that night?”

Duffy stared at her wine glass as she blushed. She knew it had meant something to him too. She found herself biting her lower lip, “I’m sorry.”

“No, you’ve nothing to be sorry for, I’m the one who should be sorry.” He took a mouthful of whiskey, “I could’ve easily have made better choices.”

There was a sadness in his eyes as he looked up, meeting her gaze. He wished he could go back all those years and make better choices. Go back to the night before his wedding and ask Duffy to run away with him. Then maybe, he’d never have missed out on Lottie’s life.

“If you knew Lottie was your daughter, why did you let us leave?”

He knew what she was referring too. Allowing Ryan to take them both to New Zealand. He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Because it would have been selfish of me to ask you both to stay. Ryan could make you happy.” She frowned slightly, Charlie hated Ryan thought he was a conman. She allowed a silence to filter between them before she replied; “But you hated him?”

“I did hate him, part of me still does after what he did to you, but Lottie liked him.”

She took a large sip of wine. The revelations were really coming out tonight. “You did it for Lottie?”

It wasn’t just Lottie he did it for, he did it for them both. After everything that had happened, with Duffy losing Andrew and her mum, she needed a fresh start somewhere. It just so happened to be New Zealand.

“I did it for you both.”

Charlie clarified and finished off his whiskey in one. His feelings for Ryan, his hatred never came into it when he noticed how Lottie’s eyes would light up whenever Ryan was around. Duffy felt more confused about her feelings for Charlie. Here she was telling him that she’d lied for twenty-years and here he was, answering that he knew and went along with it. Their relationship had always been an odd one. They were friends, best friends that shared a few kisses and one night stands over the years. A mutual attraction, respect and an emotional bond that they wouldn’t ever break – no matter how many times they tried.

“What do we do from here, Charlie?” Duffy asked although she already knew the answer. She knew she had to tell Lottie and the whole thought of it, filled her with dread. She knew Lottie needed to know but what if Lottie turned around and told her she hated her?

“Do you want me to be there when you tell Lottie?”

Duffy finished her wine as she considered Charlie’s question. She stood up and nodded, holding her hand out for him. Maybe it would be easier for Lottie if both parents were together.


	12. Chapter 12

They had both planned on telling Lottie that night when they came home from the pub, but Lottie decided to go out and extremely drunk. When she arrived home, she’d brought a man in tow who was nearing Charlie’s age which of course, made Charlie angry.

“I think you should go home,” Charlie told the gentleman, but he didn’t listen, his grip tightening around Lottie’s waist.

“Is that what you want, Lottie?” He whispered into her ear, but Lottie didn’t respond. Her mind back to where she was a fortnight ago. Charlie, noticing Lottie was lost and frozen in fear, stepped closer to the man in question.

“You should go home!”

“I’m asking Lottie,” his nails had begun to dig into her waist.

“I’m telling you!!” Charlie snapped. Duffy hearing the commotion in her hall, came out of the kitchen. With a frown, she immediately stepped towards her daughter and the man and asked;

“Lottie’s who is this?”

Within minutes, all hell had descended onto the room. Lottie had punched the gentleman in the face and he warned her; “I’ll get you back for this, you bitch!”

Outraged at the way his daughter was being spoken too, Charlie threw a punch which resulted in the two men fighting each other.

“Charlie, stop!!” Duffy shouted, desperate to stop the two men from seriously hurting themselves or worse – the police being called by the neighbours. Slamming the door closed when both men had decided to give up brawling, Duffy made her way into the kitchen. Lottie was running her hand under the sink.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at?”

Duffy’s question could’ve been directed to both Charlie and Lottie, but Lottie knew it was for her, (she was the only one in the kitchen). She shrugged her shoulders in response which only aggravated her mum more.

“Don’t you shrug at me, Lottie-Kate Bower!”

Lottie sighed, “I had it under control.”

“No Lottie, you weren’t. What would have happened if your father and I, hadn’t have been here?”

It was a slip of the tongue that Duffy didn’t notice she’d said until Lottie turned around, her eyes wide and swallowed.

“What did you say?” She asked.

Duffy swallowed and shook her head, “nothing, now let me see your hand.”

Lottie knew it was an order and turned back around, turning off the tap. She stepped towards her mum but frowned when she saw Charlie sitting on the floor in the hall.

“Mum, Uncle Charlie isn’t looking very good.”

Duffy frowned at her daughter’s comment and quickly turned around, letting go off Lottie’s hand that she was about to examine. She approached Charlie and crouched down in front of him. He had blood on his shirt, a split lip and was looking a little grey.

“Where’s the pain?”

“My chest,” Charlie answered as he rubbed his chest. Duffy took out her mobile phone and called an ambulance, secretly praying he’d be okay. She couldn’t lose him, not now.

Not when she’d only just got him back.


	13. Chapter 13

Lottie had gone with Duffy to the hospital because she wasn’t trusted to be alone in the house. She’d gone to sleep in the staff room, curled up in a ball still wearing her red dress with a spare blanket from the linen cupboard. Duffy was terrified, but she had to stay strong for Lottie’s sake. She stayed outside of Resus, unable to bring herself to go any further.

He couldn’t die. Not when she hadn’t had chance to tell him how she truly felt. How giving birth to Lottie meant she would always be connected to the only man she ever loved. She closed her eyes as she began to silently cry, before wiping the tears when she heard the doors of Resus swing open.

“Duffy?”

Duffy and Elle’s paths had crossed once or twice, mostly when Duffy had taken a few agency shifts on maternity. She smiled sadly, “how is he?”

Elle looked back at Charlie through the window of resus and smiled sadly. They’d worked on him for twenty minutes after his heart stopped but they’d managed to get him back. For now, he was stable.

“He’s stable but not out of the woods just yet. He’ll be going for surgery within the hour.”

Duffy nodded, taking in the new information that Elle had shared with her. Wiping her cheeks again, she was about to ask if she could see him when Elle told her:

“You can see him if you like.”

She nodded again, “Thanks I…” she cleared her throat, “I won’t stay for long.”

She took a deep breath, wiped her cheeks again with the back of her hands and stepped into the resus room. Walking towards the bay Charlie was in, she smiled sadly.

“Hi.”

He smiled as he reached for her hand and she placed her hand into his. He squeezed it and she smiled sadly. He was about to speak when she shook her head and told him not to speak. For once, Charlie listened to her and squeezed her hand again. She entwined her fingers through his and lent forward, planting a small kiss against his cheek. Usually she would’ve been too concerned about other people seeing, other people gossiping but for the time being, she wasn’t thinking straight. Her best friend had almost died tonight.

“Lottie?” He asked quietly, and Duffy moved to catch his eye. She placed her hand against his cheek and began to run her thumb along his cheekbone, “she’s in the staff room, she’s asleep but she’s okay.” She continued to stroke his cheek, “now rest. I promise to still be here when you wake up.”

Lottie meanwhile woke up just as Elle entered the staff room and about ten minutes after Charlie had gone to theatre for his operation. She sat up and screamed slightly, which in turn caused Elle to jump and drop the mug.

“Sorry,” she apologised as she moved the blanket away and got off the sofa, “I didn’t mean to startle you.” She moved to help Elle pick up the broken pieces of mug.

“How are you doing?”

“I’m…” She paused, she didn’t need to lie to Elle, whatever she said would remain confidential, wouldn’t it? “I’m okay.” She straightened herself up and threw the glass away into the bin.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, she was ok. This was nothing more than a blip and it wasn’t going to destroy her. She was strong, more than strong. She was unbreakable! She bit her lip as she pulled a mug from the cupboard, “Tea or coffee?”

“Coffee, white, one sugar please.”

As a sort of sorry for startling her and breaking her mug, Lottie made Elle the coffee and made herself one. She fiddled with the mug somewhat nervously.

“How is Charlie?” She asked after she took a mouthful of coffee.

“He went to theatre about ten minutes ago.”

Lottie nodded staring into her mug. She hadn’t realised things were so serious for Charlie. She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly feeling very exposed and underdressed. Part of her wanted to go home, the other half didn’t want too in case something happened to Charlie whilst she was gone.

“Elle, can I ask for your advice on something please?”

“Of course.”


	14. Chapter 14

There was a silence between them as Lottie moved slightly, trying to get more comfortable.

“How would you feel if you found out your parents had been lying to you for your whole life?”

Elle sat down on the sofa, moving the blanket out of the way. She was quiet for a moment as she thought about Lottie’s question. How would she feel in her situation?

“It depends on the situation,” She answered as Lottie sighed and picked up her mug, once again taking a mouthful of coffee.

“My dad isn’t my dad.” She replied. She was about to elaborate on the story when Duffy entered the staff room. Lottie got off the counter quickly. Duffy had this thing about her sitting on counters and she wasn’t in the mood for an argument, not under the circumstances.

“Can we go for a walk?” Duffy asked Lottie to which she agreed. Saying goodbye to Elle and apologising once more for breaking the mug, she went for a walk with Duffy. It was late, around half eleven and the pair of them were tired. They sat in the peace garden, Lottie sitting on the floor and wrapping the blanket around her.

Duffy sat beside her, “I know you must have questions.”

She was aware that speaking to her daughter about the true identify of her father in the hospital garden wasn’t the most appropriate place, but she also knew, she couldn’t avoid it for ever either.

“Andrew isn’t my dad?”

Duffy shook her head, fiddling with her hands something she always did when she was nervous.

“Not biologically, no.”

Lottie nodded, her teeth scraping her lower lip. “Does Charlie know I’m his daughter?”

Duffy smiled sadly and nodded, “yes but I only told him tonight. We were going to tell you together.”

Lottie began to play with a thread of the blanket, not sure what to say. She was silent for a couple of minutes before she asked; “Did Andrew know I wasn’t his daughter?”

Duffy didn’t know how to answer that. Although she had never specifically sat down and told Andrew that Lottie wasn’t his, sometimes she thought he did treat Lottie differently. Then again, maybe that was just her wondering if Andrew was going to find out her secrets.

“I never told him no.”

Lottie shifted slightly, “mum?”

“Yes darling?”

“Will Uncle Charlie be okay?”

“I hope so sweetheart.”

Duffy wrapped her arms around Lottie and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. “Come on, lets go inside its cold.” She stood up after loosening her grip on Lottie and held her hand out to her. Lottie took her mum’s hand and stood up off the grass, the blanket still draped over her shoulders.

“There’s a change of clothes in my locker,” Duffy told her as they went back into the department. A short while later they were both sat outside the operating theatre, waiting for Charlie’s operation to finish. Duffy squeezed Lottie’s hand.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, mum.”


	15. Chapter 15

Duffy stirred slightly when she felt a hand glide through her hair. She moved her head up off the bed and figured she’d fallen asleep beside Charlie and it was Charlie stroking her hair. She met Charlie’s gaze and immediately began to blush, “Morning.”

“Morning,” He answered back, his voice a little hoarse. She sat up properly and moved to grab Charlie a glass of water.

“How are you feeling?” She asked as she assisted him to take the water.

“Sore, how are you and Lottie?”

“We’re okay,” As he finished the water, she placed the plastic cup on the side and sat down on the edge of the bed. She was sat facing Charlie and began to stroke his cheek, “You scared me.” She whispered.

He smiled sadly, “I’m sorry.”

“I thought I lost you.”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Her eyes filled with tears. She wasn’t an overly emotional person but the whole thought of losing the only person she’d ever loved, shattered her heart ever so slightly. Charlie ran his thumb over Duffy’s lower lip before he lent forward and kissed her. She didn’t respond for a moment, closing her eyes before she returned the kiss, a small smile on her face.

Pulling away, she rested her forehead against his.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He kissed her again and this time, she didn’t hesitate to respond. In her heart, she knew she needed to ask Ryan was a divorce. She hadn’t been in love with him for ages, if she was honest, she wasn’t sure she ever was in love with him.

“Do you want me to fetch a nurse, get you some pain relief?”

She asked as she placed her hand on his chest. Charlie shook his head, he wasn’t in pain. Yes he was sore but it wasn’t painful. For now, he could handle the pain, he just wanted to spend some time alone with Duffy, before they were interrupted.

“You’re being stubborn, aren’t you?”

“Would I ever be stubborn?” He asked, and Duffy laughed in response, “of course you would be.” She pecked his lips before she moved, to get him some pain relief. As she stood up, she realised their hands were still entwined. She squeezed his hand and she released his hand before leaving the room, to find a nurse or a doctor. Charlie smiled as he watched her leave. He knew with her was where he wanted to spend the rest of his life. A second chance for him to make the right choice, to be with her and Lottie.


	16. Chapter 16

Lottie was sat in the garden underneath the kitchen window. She was reading and re-reading the text that her mum had sent her, letting her know that Charlie was now awake. She brushed the tear from her cheek, she felt so confused lately. She took a sip of tea and sent a response to her mum’s text.

‘that’s great, I’ll come and see him soon. X’

She picked up the diary and looked at today’s date. She had an appointment that morning at the doctors, a medication review for the zopiclone. The doctors were worried that long time use of sedatives could become addictive. Although the zopiclone had initially worked, for the last few/couple of days, she’d been unable to settle. Then again, that could be in response to everything that had happened. Standing up, she returned to the kitchen just as her phone vibrated with a reply.

She read the message and placed her phone and the diary on the table. She had an hour until the doctors and decided to go off and have a shower.

Charlie lent forward and kissed Duffy, just as his hand began to travel up her thigh. She shook her head fondly, “Charlie!”

“What?” He asked, “you’re very sexy.”

Duffy dipped her head in embarrassment, her cheeks shining bright red. He smirked as his hand travelled further up her thigh. Placing her hand over his to stop him, Duffy lent forward and whispered in his ear, “there will be none of that until I know you’re 100% better.”

With her other hand, she tapped Charlie’s chest and giggled.

She sat in the doctors, fiddling with her hands nervously as she fidgeted in the chair. Lottie hated the doctors, she was always ridiculously nervous. She began to play with her necklace, twisting the silver between her forefinger and thumb. Seeing her name flash up on the screen, she picked up her bag and stood up. Taking a deep breath as she stood outside the door, she was in two minds whether to go inside the room or do a runner. Opening the door, she forced a smile at the female doctor, closed the door behind her and took a seat.

“What can I do for you?”

Lottie sat down, “a few weeks ago I started suffering from insomnia and I was prescribed Zopiclone to help me sleep. That was a fortnight ago and the GP wanted me to return in two weeks, a review I think she said.”

“How are you getting on with it?”

Lottie paused, tapping her fingers against her thigh. “The last few nights haven’t been great, even with an increased dose but I’ve had a lot on my mind.”

The doctor nodded, listening to what Lottie was telling her. She was, like the previous doctor, concerned about Lottie developing a dependence to sedatives. She picked up the BNF from the side of her desk, “is it mostly the sleep you’re struggling with?”

Lottie hesitated, unsure whether to be truthful or not. It wasn’t just the lack of sleep she was struggling with, it was the constant weeping and anxiety.

“I’ve… erm, been feeling a little bit restless and teary lately too.”

The doctor nodded, finding an antidepressant that could be used in the management of both depression and insomnia. There was a slight uncomfortable silence between the pair, “I’m going to start you on Trazodone, its an antidepressant that can help with insomnia. Then I would like for you to come back and see me in a fortnight okay?”

Lottie nodded, fiddling with her necklace again. Antidepressants? She didn’t need them, did she? She wasn’t depressed, she was tired. There was another silence again as the doctor printed out the prescription, signed the bottom and handed it to Lottie.

“Ask the receptionist to book you another appointment and I’ll see you in two weeks time.”


	17. Chapter 17

Lottie looked down at the piece of paper and back up at the doctor before she took the piece of paper. “Thank you,” she smiled sadly as she picked up her bag, put it over her shoulder and left the room. She made an appointment to see the doctor in two weeks’ time and went to the chemist to pick up her medication before deciding to see Charlie in hospital.

It wasn’t a cold day, strangely enough it was warm enough for the beginning of December and she was dressed in demin dungarees. She was pretty without having to make much of an effort, someone once told her it was because she was naturally pretty. Reaching the hospital, she was about to send her mum a message when she spotted her by the coffee truck. She approached her mum, stood behind her and said;

“Make mine a large white, three sugars.”

Duffy didn’t turn around until she had both coffees in hand. “You look nice,” she commented on her daughter’s appearance and handed over a coffee. Lottie blushed. She was like Duffy when it came to compliments, she couldn’t receive one without being embarrassed and going as read as a tomato. 

“Thanks,” she smiled and took a large mouthful of coffee, “how is Uncle Charlie?”

“He’s okay, he seems to be through the worst.” She smiled sadly as she looked at the coffee cup. “Lottie, I need to ask you something.”

Like the previous night, they’d ended up in the peace garden sitting on the unoccupied bench. Lottie nodded, trailing a finger along the rim, “Of course, go ahead.”

Noticing the silence that came from her mum, she asked; “Mum, what is it?”

Duffy sighed, “I… I want to ask Ryan for a divorce.”

Lottie nodded, she wasn’t surprised. She knew sooner or later something like this would happen. They led separate lives, one in England and the other in New Zealand.

“Okay.”

Duffy frowned slightly and glanced up at Lottie. “You’re okay with that?”

She nodded, taking another mouthful of coffee and met the gaze of her mum. “Of course, you both live separate lives, plus I know Ryan cheated on you.”

“How?”

“I heard you both arguing one night about his whore.” Lottie answered, as she took more off her coffee. Duffy sighed, her finger running over her coffee mug.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, he’s the one who cheated.” She paused, “so you and Charlie?”

“What about me and Charlie?”

“Are you, you know, together?”

“Would you like us to be?”

Lottie shrugged, if she was honest she hadn’t had much time to process things. She knew they must’ve been together at some point as they had conceived her, but she hadn’t thought of them in a relationship. “I, I don’t know.” She admitted with another small shrug. Duffy sighed again and rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache forming.

“There’s some paracetamol in my bag.” Lottie said as she placed the bag between them on the bench. Duffy smiled softly as she went into Lottie’s back for the paracetamol but instead, pulled out the box of antidepressants instead.

She frowned, “what’s this?”

Lottie bit her lower lip hard, “the doctors have prescribed me some antidepressants. Hopefully they should allow me to sleep better.”

“Your still not sleeping?”

Lottie shook her head, tapping her nails against the cup. “Not really, there’s too much in here.” She replied as she tapped the side of her head. Duffy sighed and instantly felt guilty. Like this was all her fault. Perhaps telling Lottie who her father was, was a mistake if it was only to add to her problems.

Lottie held her hand out for the box and Duffy handed it to her before she opened it. She took out one of the packets of pills, broke a pill out of the packet and took it. “I’m on 150mg to begin with and if there’s no change or improvement in two weeks, it’ll be increased to 300mg.”

Duffy nodded, “Sweetheart?”

“Yes mum?”

“I love you.” She said quietly and planted a kiss against the side of Lottie’s head. 


	18. Chapter 18

A few days later and Charlie had come out of hospital and was temporarily staying with Lottie and Duffy. It did nothing to help the rumours in the hospital or the department about their affair, especially as it had all being constructed by Louise getting the wrong end of the stick and loving the sound of her own voice. Lottie had two weeks left in University before she finished for the Christmas break. She was excited for Christmas, growing up Duffy always made Christmas a massive event.

Lottie was curled up on the sofa, her head in a book as always. Today had been a self-directed study day and she was reading one of the books that they’d been advised to read. She was that lost in her book that she wasn’t aware that Charlie had sat down beside her. Charlie watched her quietly, she was beautiful, a mini-version of Duffy with most of the same mannerisms.

Lottie shifted becoming aware that she was no longer alone. With a small frown, she looked up from the book and upon seeing Charlie sat beside her, flushed in embarrassment.

“How long have you been sat there?” She asked as she returned her bookmark to the page and placed her book on the table. 

“Not long, what are you reading?”

“Just a little something on holistic approaches in mental health.”

“Is it interesting?”

Lottie nodded, “its interesting trying to take into account everything about the individual rather than the symptoms of the disease.” She paused, “its easy to forget the whole individual when presented with an illness.”

Charlie nodded in agreement, his heart felt like it was about to burst open. He was so unbelievably proud of her, she was such a sweet, kind-hearted soul. He smiled brightly just as Lottie asked;

“What do you want?”

He laughed at the question. Being blunt was another trait she’d inherited from Duffy. “Who says I want anything?”

Lottie rose an eyebrow, “You’re hovering?”

She pointed out and he laughed again. “I just want to spend some time with my daughter, I am allowed, aren’t I?”

She laughed, nodded and moved closer into Charlie, resting her head on his shoulder. “After calling you Uncle Charlie for all my life, it feels a bit strange to call you dad.”

“You don’t have to call me dad, if you don’t want too.”

“It’s not that I don’t want too, it’s just strange that’s all.” She bit her lower lip and Charlie nodded, kissing the side of her head.

“I’m proud of you.”

She blushed, “what for?”

“Being you.”

She went red again and mumbled a thank you. She remained sat on the sofa, her head on Charlie’s shoulder, neither of them saying anything. She eventually broke the silence with a question.

“You love my mum, don’t you?”

Charlie nodded, “from the minute I met your mum I thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.”

“But when did you know you loved her?”

Neither of them had noticed the front door open and close or Duffy’s footsteps in the hall. She was stood by the door with a small frown on her face as she listened to her daughter and partner in the lounge.

“Well,” he sighed as he stroked Lottie’s hair, “your mum had an accident and when she was brought in, I realised just how much she meant to be.”

“And yet it still took you both, how long to be honest with one another?”

“I know, I know, we’re both….”

“Idiots. That’s what you both are.”

Charlie nodded in agreement as did Duffy from the hallway. She’d take that from her daughter, Charlie kissed the top of her head. “I love you and your mum, and I promise, I will always protect you both.” Lottie nodded, and Duffy smiled. Although, she wished she said something earlier to Charlie, she knew they were going to be okay. They were a family, and families were unbreakable, weren’t they?


End file.
